My license has been revoked

On Sunday night, Mandrina asked me to start some water on the stove so she could make grits when she got home from rehearsal. As a pleasant surprise, I figured, “Hey, I can cook grits. They can be ready when she gets home!”

Now, let’s be clear. We’re talking “instant grits.” The steps consist of measuring water, heating water, adding grits, covering. Not rocket science. Not even science at all. The back of the box has less than half of the box covered in instructions — with one quarter of the box given over to branding, and the instructions provided in two languages and for both stovetop and microwave. Even they know it’s simple. And I’ve made grits before — with great success. Long before we were even married, Mandrina received grits as a present from her best friend back home, and I made REAL grits.

Not so on Sunday night. I expect to shortly receive formal notice from the Association of Men Qualified To Marry Southern Belles that my license has been revoked, as the grits I made ended up being worse than gruel. I’ll have to start from scratch again… Back to putting bacon in vegetables…

Comments

  1. Hm. It seems that perhaps you should work on creating a true southern delicacy like proper sweet tea or maybe cheese straws (PLEASE call me if you make cheese straws!) rather than just plain old bacon ini the veggies. You can do it! We have some green tomatoes if you’d like to give them a fry….

  2. I thought the trick was to make UNsweet tea? I don’t know what cheese straws are, so I doubt I’ll endeavor to make them.

    However, as a wedding present from one of Mandrina’s mother’s “odd” friends, we did receive a tomato server. We’ve never used it. It’s really nice — real silver and everything. But you can keep your green tomatoes. 🙂

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