Office Monkey

• Passing a bus on a highway is easy. Trying to pass a bus before you get to a particular exit can be more challenging.
• The vending machine supply company has caught on. We now have two full rows of chocolate-frosted Hostess Donettes in our vending machine. The one half-row sold out every week.
• The generic burn-aid cream in the first-aid kit in the kitchenette smells funny.
• The largest sterile gauze pad in the first-aid kit in the kitchenette is just about the right size for the burn on my left forearm.
• Running a 5k after only two weeks of physical therapy requires me to make an increase in the quantity of ice packs we own.
• Watching Doctor Who lends me a weak British accent at random points throughout the day.
• I have two lunch meetings tomorrow. I’m going to eat at the first one (with a friend), and perhaps snack at the one featuring my new boss.
• Mandrina shaved four minutes off her 5k time in her first race on Saturday. I added four minutes to the time from my last race. The universe likes balance.
• The single-serve “iCup” vending machine in the kitchenette provided a hot-cocoa tease today. It cycled, and then… nothing. I used the other iCup machine, and got my cup of coffee.
• I have a lot of work to do this week.
• I have now almost set up a photogallery so I can upload any of the oodles of pictures I’ve taken over the last five years.

Nothing to do with the Fruit Tax, or Mac OS X, or anything else that’s remotely arguable.

The thermodynamic properties of the lovely aluminum cases that the MacBook comes in must be ungodly cold after walking around in this weather. Who wants to type ON the cold?

What a surprise! Except, not.

You are a Social Liberal (60% permissive) and an… Economic Conservative (61% permissive) You are best described as a: Centrist Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid Also : The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

I made a mistake yesterday. I bought some yogurt, and only noticed that it was the cheapest kind. After the fact, I noticed I had bought “Light” Yogurt. I can deal with that, not a problem.

Then I went to have one this morning. Took a single taste, and instantly recoiled. Checked the ingredients list, and… Splenda. I hate Splenda. I shrugged and finished it because I hate to waste food… and then felt ill for the next few hours. I’m going to endeavor to return the rest of the yogurt, obviously.

But I have to wonder: Mandrina uses Splenda rather than sugar in both coffee and tea. I can’t stand Splenda in anything I eat or drink. Does anyone else like the stuff?

Someone took my PayPal account on a shopping trip last night! So nice, my PayPal account doesn’t usually get to go out and have fun.

However, I decided I wanted my six hundred dollars back.

So I suffered through several hours of frustration with PayPal, my bank and my credit card company. Not the most pleasant way to spend my day.

However, I managed to discover the email address of the perp (the police offer who filed my fraud report informed me that “perp” is a East Coast term) with the help of one of the parties who had had items purchased from. A half hour later, and I have his birth date (as in, Month, Day, and Year), preferred email addresses and online aliases, interests, and HOMETOWN. He used the same email address for legal endeavors as he did for his illegal attempt.

Thirteen years old doesn’t excuse stupidity.

Mandrina suckered me into the Atkins diet for the next week or two (I know, a real healthy way to diet). I didn’t have any warning, so I didn’t stock up on chocolate, or his close friend chocolate-chip-cookie, prior to starting this diet that says I can’t have a single cookie. (Mandrina refers to my typical mode of dieting as the “Salad and chocolate” diet. Much catchier than “Atkins” if you ask me…)

So I got “convinced” to be on this diet with Mandrina, and we started Friday night (I’m down two-three pounds in three days, so… *shrug*). On Saturday, we had a panic with Pixel’s health — he spent 24 hours at the emergency clinic under observation, but he’s fine now, thanks for asking — and I ended up going to work with Mandrina for a few hours.

Unfortunately, there was some degree of hunger involved, so we stopped at MacDonald’s. Have you ever tried to eat a hamburger without eating the bun? While driving on the freeway? This Atkins fad strikes me as a fast way to an accident. Which is not the cause for the title of the post.

This is: Mandrina and I spent the day Saturday on the road, and got home late. We went out grocery shopping yesterday, and got Pixel from the vet. We also went to Old Navy so I had enough clothes for our upcoming trip. In all these trips, our hands were rather full coming home. So we never took out the near-empty soda cups from McDs on Saturday.

Apparently, Diet Coke + ice => a substance that can dissolve within two days whatever material those McD’s soda cups are made of. So now I have sticky soda-water on my car’s center console. I’m not too happy. I think next time, we’ll go to Arby’s.

An “accurate” Belgian Gauffre recipe!

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I usually care about my weight only in the “am I healthy”, and “how’s my endurance” categories.

Today, however, I weighed myself after taking a shower, and although the weight was right in the neighborhood I expected, I found myself thinking…

“How much does the water still in my hair weigh?”

It must suck to be Bullseye.

Admittedly, the hero he has to go up against is “Can’t See a Thing Guy With Good Hearing and Balance,” but what drives a person to become a supervillain?

“Wow, I can throw things really accurately, I should take up throwing sharp objects at people professionally.”

It can’t possibly pay as well as, say, being a professional baseball player. The hours are probably worse, you don’t get any respect, and no groupies. Who on earth would choose to be a Supervillain with such a lousy power?

So forget the analysis of a fictional character, what made anyone say, “Hey, that would make a good enemy”?

Spiderman at least had the Green Goblin — a biochemical mistake, admittedly, but super strength, speed, aggression, equipment, etc. Even Doc Ock makes sense — Spiderman versus the man with 4 extra limbs composed of a superstrong metallic alloy. That’s a good pairing.

Batman versus Joker? Fine. Versus Ra’s Al Ghoul and the League of Shadows? Perfect. Versus Mr. Freeze, Poison Ivy, or pretty much anyone else? Completely fair. Batman is just a well-trained and equipped vigilante.

Even Superman gets appropriate opponents — whether from the Phantom Zone or created by an insane computer engineer (which I can appreciate) or created by throwing nuclear weapons into the sun.

Poor Daredevil. First he gets crummy “superpowers,” then he gets crummy opponents.

So today is Wednesday, December 14th, 2005.

I have done no Christmas shopping. I have barely thought about what to buy people for the holidays. In addition, I need to finish a huge bunch of stuff at work which I’m just slightly overdue on, and I need to plan and pack for our trip back to New York for the holidays.

Including arranging for Glitch-care. My kitten is so cute! Okay, so he’s a year old, but still.

So here’s my hideously embarassing to-do list:

1. Choose Christmas gifts for cousin Jenny and Aunt Pam and Uncle Bob, and Mandrina’s family
2. Ship Christmas presents to aforementioned individuals
3. Verify that Mandrina is truly okay with not getting anything for Christmas — delayed large gift to each other on top of the trip out there should count for something!
4. Choose Christmas gifts for K, L, M, D, Luke, and Alva
5. Order anything necessary, ship direct to NY
6. Figure out who is going to be visited on LI
7. Schedule as possible events for NY trip
8. Decide what to pack
9. Panic and do laundry
10. Meet up with Jamie and provide house keys and guidance on Glitch-visitation procedures
11. Get cat food and litter
12. Finish processing video files for Manda
13. Pack
14. Pack laptop
15. Repack clothes with Mandrina
16. Give in and buy small present for Mandrina
17. Panic

There will be some work in there, too. And a hair cut. And a blood donation. And Mandrina’s in an ice show on Friday night. And we’re going sledding on Saturday. Now MIGHT be the right time to Panic.

So far I know I’m going to see the following people in NY. If you read this and aren’t on the list, don’t be offended! I’m going to deliberately leave off certain individuals just so you can’t feel too bad! But email me so I remember, just in case.

• Al
• Mishu
• Gabe
• Rachel
• Jenn, oh, wait, she abandoned me…
• TA
• Brian
• Mike P.
• Tommy C.’s crew

You know, that isn’t as scary as I expected. Admittedly, you take out Christmas Eve and Christmas, maybe New Year’s Eve or Day… and then factor in family I’ve not seen for over a year and Mandrina’s obsession with NY… it could get busy. It will get busy. Mandrina and I will have to talk about taking a “rest day.” So that maybe, just maybe, I can SLEEP.